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The 61st: why so emo?! [Oct. 29th, 2009|08:51 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | aggravated]

weeks ago, I bought a new webcam.
Just a cheap one, but serves the purpose still.
the logitech one that my dad bought for me,
has decided to die on me already.
as usual, got nagged by daddy for not taking care of it.
but I did, you know? 
:( 







so it's been a whole load of webcaming with friends at home.
usual people includes my dear vanessa bitch and eugene.
and photos taking as well with my webcam.
its good with a webcam, brings us closer to each other.
HAHAHA.

VERY RANDOM PHOTOS.
ON VERY RANDOM DAYS.





































I need a haircut, my fringe is so thick
okay, those photos are superb random.
and I'm at risk for posting some of them up!
someone will kill me if she uses the photos up here.
but I assume nobody much check out this space,
so I'm kinda safe too? 
(:

a lot running through my mind lately.
really a whole lot of jumbled up feelings.
that I don't have any clue about.
:'[

I hope they'll get out of their cold war soon.
I don't want them to be so quiet.
my house is like so quiet,
why did all the talks go to? 

it feels weird to me to be home.

And I've been feeling more sensitive than usual lately.
I feel like I'm getting more unwanted attention recently.
And its not a good thing in fact, I don't need this unwanted attention.
its not a very good thing to start with to.
I hope people just leave me alone to lead my life.
they don't have to comment anything,
fucking insulting comments are not needed.
be sensitive to people's feelings, you fuck tards.
put yourself in the shoes of others.
fuck my life.


and whats next,
I wish people cared more.
I wish ....
but, it seems not the case.
whatever it is.



. . .

and time is flying by,
its going to be the fifth week back at school.
tests are coming soon, fyp mid term assessment too.
in 2 weeks' time, we need to speed up our progress.
lots to get done with fyp, rubrics, report, individual powerpoint slides.
seriously, fuck year three.
endure, last lap to go, I know.
(: 

and whats next to update you people about? 
stress is building up, have been snacking a lot.
time in school is never solid meals,
all I eat is junks, and lots of junks everyday.
:( 

I wish things goes fine.
everyday is so shit ass for me now.
what more to be living for? 
why so emo?! 
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The 60th: I'm not okay. [Oct. 27th, 2009|03:19 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | disappointed]

Life has been fuck shit for Diona.
I'm not happy, I'm not okay, I'm not liking it.
Today's power point was the messiest, rushiest and lousier work ever.
Not on the team basis, on my own basis.

Everything is so much of a whirlwind.
Everyday, go school, usual routine in class,
I feel the tension, I feel the stress, I feel the change.
I feel everything, trust me, I'm not feelingless, I feel it all.
And I'm affected by it too, trust me.

Classes has been shit ass,
Fridays have been made the worst day of my week.
I believe the stress's building up on Wednesday, my FYP days.
Its just not here yet, but it will come, I know.

Sitting in class, so much going through my teeny weeny mind.
I want to cry already, just holding back, everything shall wait.

Breaks in class has been unpredictable too.
No solid meals, just junks, junks and more junks.
First break, junks. Second break, junks too.
No time to sit down in the canteen and have a nice meal.
Without having to rush for power points, to think about points.
This is only Poly and I'm so stressed up.
How to handle other challenges?! :( 

I GOT A HEADACHE NOW.
FUCK IT. BYE.


I'm sorry. :( 

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The 59th: Stop this, will you? :( [Oct. 22nd, 2009|09:06 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | cranky]

Why do we have to make their issue our issue now? 
I hate it to see Mom & Dad arguing, each having their own stands.
I hear both sides of the story, but I can't and I don't make any comments.
Mom tend to ask me "So what do you think about it?"
Then go on telling me about it, telling me about my Dad.

I don't have a stand in this, I don't want to interfere in it.
I don't like to make any comments in adult's issue.
The more discussions, the more mouths involve, the more complicated it gets.
The heart gets unhappier, starts to think more, I don't want neither of my parents to do so.

But the thing is, to start with, this issue didn't originated from my family.
Now, it made my parents unhappy with each other, each staying strong on their stands.
I hate it absolutely seeing Mom & Dad arguing. Why did it have to become our problem?!

Mom just asked me "Tell me what you think about this, let me see if you've grown up."
I made no stand, no comments, shrugs my shoulders and walked away.

Sigh.

"how nice if everything was simple, where we just lead our own separate lives.
no obligations, no responsibilties, no need to be accountable to anyone."

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The 58th: friends are always my pillar of strength. [Oct. 22nd, 2009|01:18 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | cold]



 











21st October 2009.
@ Changi Airport with my ah dar!
SUPPOSEDLY TO DO SOT WRITE UP.
but ended up take photos and didn't complete the assignment.
(:


Okay, presentation time now.
Time to pay attention.
Six Sigma & Lean Manufacturing module.
Good luck.
Goodbye.

I'm freezing in class.
Goodness me.
Freezer class,
but its better than being hot.

"my dream is still clear in my head."

"It is the fire in our hearts and the determination in our minds that make the difference.
No aspirations are too high, no dreams are too lofty and no goals are out of reach
if you are highly motivated and always give your best and persevere.
As we go through life, we are faced with choices. It is crucial that we always live life to the fullest.
Be the master of your own destiny, do not leave things to circumstances."

-- June Tan, Supply Chain Management Faci.

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The 57th: "whats the right moves?" [Oct. 20th, 2009|09:46 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | cold]


"Motivation is a fire from within. If someone else tries to light that fire under you, chances are it will burn very briefly - Stephen R. Covey. Do you agree with this?"


My awesome RJ question from my favorite facilitator for this semester.
Kinda like this kind of philosophy questions, but it just depends on whether I've things to relate to.

In my RJ response, I shared with her another quote.
Here it goes.

"Self-trust is the first secret of success."

I agree hands down with them. I hope I did okay for the RJ response.
I'm not revealing what I wrote though, its a secret.

(: 



Break my little heart.

Pardon me, starting my nonsensical postings again.
Somehow or another, I can't figure out my thoughts. I don't know who is the best person to tell those unchained thoughts to too.
So, here I go, this is when you'll find me taking time out from my busy school schedule to blog,
before the unhappiness takes a toll over me and I explode literally.

You can skip this part.
I'm telling you, you can just close this window.
I'm afraid it will bore you, because its just unchained thoughts.

I'm just gonna spill everything out.
In no sequence, in no real format, just say what I want to say.

ranting.
in.
process.


"Let down your guard. Show me your colors. Don't hide it anymore." -- Justin Timberlake -- "not your enemy."

I'm confused, I don't know what my heart thinks.
I'm dead lost, don't know which path to take next, which path leads me to the right place.
What if I end out in the wrong place? What's gonna happen to me? 

I'm starting to feel the fatigue in me.
I want to break free from this world that I'm in now.
I need to let go of the current lifestyle I'm in.

I feel like just not talking to anyone.
Just sitting in that corner, with no one to interfere in my life.
Drawing myself away from the crowd, from the group, just living by my own.
Go where I want to, do what I want to, not thinking about anything.
Just empty my mind, nothing in my mind, clear everything for now.
Periodic clearing of all the junks in my head. Fresh new brain, fresh new mind.

Not a time to think about this.
Pretty dumb, useless.

---

Call me a fool, it makes no difference.
My mind's make up, I'm leaving today.
I've to go, I need to know, there must be more to life,
than this.

Call me a fool, I've to know, let me go.
& search inside myself, why does my mind always tells me different.
To what my heart feels deep inside, right now my mind's a puzzle.
& I got feelings I cannot hide, I have so many questions no answers.
I'm taking the hardest ways, I hope you understand,
why I've decided not to stay.

Take a look at myself, through strangers' eyes.
Nothing ever changes, till you see them wrong from right.
I interpret my thoughts differently now, for the first time I see.
The pathway left for me.


Now I finally know what's missing, darkness has turned to light.
Still life's like a puzzle, but one day I'll get it right.
And I'm not ashamed to say, I'm so scared, but I'll be okay.

...

I feel so indifferent, like I lost everyone dear to me.
I feel more lonely than ever. more lost than ever.
who will still be there amidst their problems,
to be there for me? to just be there.
to just make me laugh amidst my stress,
to make me smile with their nonsense.
no one in particular does that job for me anymore.
:( 


my dearest vanessa, we call each other bitch in class.
my darling baby niece clariss's so adorable. (:

I STILL HAVE A DUMB SORE THROAT, A DRY COUGH.
THE WORST PART OF THE WEEK IS HERE.

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The 56th: School is draining me away. : [Oct. 15th, 2009|10:12 am]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | busy]

Damn right, I'm sorry I neglected my blog for quite some time. But I've been busy with school & thinking about FYP. Back home late after school, very tired to blog or stay online for long. My mental strength is going down down down. So I'll be back for a update some time this week end I guess, to stay updated on my life. Got some Baby's photos to show too, sure to perk up your day! HEHE. Look forward! 

I'm in class for my Lean Manufacturing and Six Sigma lesson. Week 2 of the school term, been late once for my freely chosen module, that is the killer 830 lesson. Other times still can make it early, I hope I can stay that way. I don't want to let school eat up my 0.5 off my daily grade. But I have been getting later everyday, keep dragging time to wake up. I need to be back to my 808am bus again! I DON'T CARE.

Motivate.
Confidence.
Determine.
Endure.

The 4 keys in my life now.

Work hard, study hard, stay that way. (:

Okay, back to lesson.
Update soon. Love all.
Goodbye. (: 

PS: You can catch me on Twitter if I don't update often. Link is above.

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The 55th: In classss. (: [Oct. 6th, 2009|02:57 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | cheerful]

Damn it, I'm so bored listening to Supply Chain Management powerpoint slides.
Lets see, so today was the first problem of Supply Chain Management, new faci, got module chair this time round.

Though there's a lot to do, and that she tries to push us further throughout the day.
But in overall, I think she's not too bad as a faci I think, cause she have this "I appreciate your efforts" look.
Very motivating faci I think, as in the way she thank you for your efforts in coming up with the slides.
Encourages, asks questions that test our understanding, but don't know why, she ask questions we won't get irritated.
I think its because of the way she approaches, and the way she speaks and relates to us. Nice. c: 

But I don't know, its only the first day of this lesson.
My classmates are not too bad though, maybe cause I'm close to quite a couple of them.
They made it all better for me to be in class, just need to motivate myself. (: 

Takes some time to understand everyone's style.
So yeah, lets hope the rest of the days will be better.
Everyday will be a good day, at least I hope. (:

This morning was raining when I woke up, superb don't feel like dragging myself up from bed to get prepared.
But I know cannot, so I dragged myself up, looked at the sky outside, damn it. Wish it was a no school day.
Never mind, 3 more days to go, then its Week 1 down. Look forward. >: 

For some reason, whenever I lie on my bed waiting to fall asleep.
It will start to howl outside, wind blowing strongly, then as I get into my dreamland, I guess it starts to rain.
Maybe its to make my nights feel better, breezy breezy good for sleeping! <:

Tomorrow's FYP day, god damn it. My free day is dedicated to FYP again.
I doubt it will be any better than last semester. But I certainly hope we can cope with it. :< 

"& I just wanna wake up thinking it will all be a good day after all." 

Okay, 6th presentation now! BYE. <:
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The 54th: Remember my name. <: [Oct. 5th, 2009|10:56 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | bitchy]

I've reported back to school today. Was early for lessons. <:
Pretty good start, hope it stays like this, I can't afford to get penalized for my punctuality this semester.
At least its just one more semester to endure through. 15 weeks of lessons torture, 1 week of UT3, 16 fucking weeks of FYP torture. By torture, I really mean torture. :<

But I don't know why I can never handle stress well. Loser much.
Why others don't seems to feel stressed out at all, but on the other hand, why I feel like this? 
Was having a chat with Nassa, she says she don't feel very stressed out at all.
Dear bitch, I envy you. I envy how you see things, why can't I be like that? Why can't I take it easy? :< 

Back to reality, 5 weeks holidays ended.
Back to school for a good 16 weeks. No more slacking, lazing, feeling like a useless lady at home.
Time to get my butt to work, I know it best myself that I need to perform. Fucking yeah.

I just want everything to end as soon as possible. Then let me get on with my dream.
Let me get what I want, let me fulfill my dream overseas. Its really my wish too. I hope its not too far fetched now.
I hope my parents are still with me, standing by my decision. I really hope so. I really hope I'm staying strong with it too.

Endure. Find a way to de-stress, let everything out at the end of every day.
Take it easy, go as your heart tells you to. When life knocks you down, just get back up.
I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I'll be my own cheerleader, cheer myself on. (:

Girl, you can definitely get through it. Just take a deep breathe, release all the unhappiness.
Give a smile at the beginning of everyday, don't let life knock you down.

Life isn't happy always. Days are never smiling everyday. But you can smile to make everyday better.
Take every challenge as a spice, to spice up your life, take a step out to your dreams. Believe in yourself.
If I don't believe in myself, who's gonna believe in me? Fucking no. I'm gonna keep going, keeep running.

If you think you can, you can. If you think you failed, you failed yourself most.
When one door closes from you, another door opens up for you. Take a chance.
Walk through that door, take it as a brand new opportunity. Step out. Fulfill your utmost dreams.


Week 1 Day 1 > Down. ♥
> Gotta get my butt to get my RJ done.
Good night Earthlings. <: 

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The 53rd: I don't want to bid good bye to these days. :( [Oct. 4th, 2009|04:29 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | cold]



Mid autumn festival, was spent with my 14 years of friendship best.
Afternoon met up with SOT team to do Post China Trip assignment.
Toured almost the whole of Changi Airport just to find a suitable place.
In the end, Salih drove us to Budget Terminal, settled @ Mac.
Spent a few hours there, getting things done.
(:

Then, left the Airport @ about 8pm.
Bused home, then dropped by Bedok to get stuffs.
Since she knocked off @ 9pm.
Headed home, ate dinner, rest for a while.

Then, its time to head out @ 1030pm again.
Met up with Best @ Bedok Interchange.
But in the end changed the meeting place to halfway between us,
walked over to her place, went up for her to release her pee.

Then, went downstairs to play candles.
That place was where we used to play years back.
Been a long time since I last stopped there and loitered around.
Good old memories.
 Thank you babe for the bubble tea too! 
:D



She brought along the matchsticks.
I brought along the kitchen fire lighter.
That was what we called Ancient VS Modern.
LOL.
 


Mom got me to bring this along,
easier to get fire.
(: 
 




If you don't know her,
bet you won't recognize it as HM,
he name initials.
 


Me hard at work okay.
Getting my masterpiece done.
And got snapshot.
 




If you can see it, you can.
If not, here you go.
Its "D ♥"
 
Damn, my pretty candles are almost gone now.
And the flames are swaying in all directions.
:( 
 


Superb miniature lanterns.
Just for the fun of it.
(: 
 
We didn't manage to get a proper shot together.
And furthermore, 3 kids came over to look at us play.
They were not very adorable & lovable boys,
but those that I didn't like.
Very playful kind yeah, so we didn't really bothered about them.
And continue with our stuffs.
(:
 


Time to light the sparklers.
I swear it was the first time I played with them.
Because I didn't dared to touched them before.
Cause I'm afraid of the sparks.
But after assurance from her, I decided to just go along.
 
And tadah tadah! 
Was starting out yeah.
I know I look superb afraid of the sparklers.
 
And then, I started getting addicted to it.
Woohooo, spin spin spin it round & round.
Trying to get the letters and shapes we wanted to do.
But didn't managed to capture them on camera.
But not too bad either, spotted quite a few stuffs.
(: 
 
Damn, that kid in her came out! 
Look she appears so happy.
HAHAHA.
 
I captured a heart on her camera for her! 
 


Spot mine, I see a musical note lookalike.
Or I see it as a D! 
:D
 
And my many many hearts attempts.
They never really seem to be completed.
:(
 

Still at it.
 









 

Left last few.
Lets attempt self timer shots together now.
And I always takes the longest to light them up! 

























Me & my Diona's masterpiece.  ♥



One of my dumb self timer attempt,
turned out to be this,
& the flash all landed on my bubble tea,
my handphone and my bear & Elmo.
LOL.



Ended the night @ 12 plus.
She walked me to the bus stop @ 85 market.
Caught the last bus back home.
YAY! FUN NIGHT.

Now, in a couple of hours,
my holidays are ending.
Its time to head back to school.
:(

I hope the last semester would be a good one.
In addition, I hope I behave good too.
Don't be late, don't skip school.
Be a good girl, do well in class.
Endure through FYP together.
Just get through the last semester well.
Last chance, last opportunity for me to get things done.

Glad that my CE points are cleared! 
Focus on studies please.
Good night, hell days starts tomorrow morning.
Have to be in class @ 945am.
No more late nights now.
No more late night munching too.

Good night.
:( 
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The 52nd: Simple day but loved. [Oct. 1st, 2009|09:48 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | calm]

Oh yeah baby! 
Last semester's class & time table is OUT! 
Everyday same class @ E26K.
Wednesday is for FYP.
Friday is god damn 830am module,
for the Freely Chosen Module.
I chose Marketing, guess its a Year 2 module.
That's why its gonna be a Group C Module.



See what I meant! 
Look into the circle,
freaking 830am! 
Usually 10am I already having problems being on time.
What more to say of 830am now?! 
Determination please.
:( 


But never mind, not happy about that never mind.
You know what makes me looking forward for modules? 
Cause of who's with me in E26K everyday! 
I've my Vanessa bitch,
Sokky my lover.
JJ my FYP team mate.
Everyday, Monday, Tuesday, Thursday.
(: 

Tinghui joins us in E26K on Thursday for Six Sigma module.
For my FCM, I'm with Sokky in E54D on Friday.
& on Wednesday, I see Sokky & JJ for FYP.
I'm supposed to be happy,
at least I've people I know in my classes.
That's much better right, love it yo.
Right now, only waiting for LEO to be done,
then can check the class roster to see who else is in.
(:

Okay, so today I woke up early @ 9 plus.
To accompany my mommy to the market.
For her grocery shopping & for breakfast,
since I don't wanna be up that late too.
So wake up early, be a human being.


Ate so much with Mom around please.
So full a breakfast.
Somemore got Kuehs & BBT back home.
Then Mommy bought EMICAKES Durian mooncakes & Crepe for me.
Yummmm.
 




Daddy brought this few days back.
Waiting to eat it on Saturday.
(: 



At home nothing to do in the afternoons,
helped Mommy out with vegetables.
Watered Daddy's precious plants.
Then, talked a lot with Mommy.
Simple day but awesome day.
(: 





Awesome day with yummy dinner.
Mommy cooked mini crabs for us.
& my favorite dishes,
fish & 2 different vegetables.
Healthy but I love it.
(: 





School reopens in ...
3 days.

 Need to meet up with China trip team to do post trip slides on Saturday.
But I'm so broke to go out too.
Damn.





Good night.
I wished holidays were longer.
I don't want to bid good bye to late nights,
& waking up late.
So gonna miss everything again.
:(

I want stay over soon too!
Before school reopens, & nothing more.
Serena, hintssss.
My Mommy miss you eh!
But I bet you want to eat my mom's cooking more right!
HAHAHA.
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The 51st: Good friends are what makes my life, complete. [Sep. 30th, 2009|06:41 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | sick]



Dionasaur's outing with Serena.
On 29 September 2009.
(:


Met up @ Outram MRT, in the afternoons.
Then made our way down to Clarke Quay Central for lunch.
Sorry ah, I was late for 45 minutes.
But you know me right, I'm trying to change.
LOL.

Went over to WATAMI Japanese Casual Dining Restaurant.
Finally after all the cravings right, Serena? 
But it was yummy & worth the money, affordable.
Omg, now I crave for the sweet sweet sauce chicken wings.
Next time should go there try out other dishes.
:D
 




Serena's Suki Yaki.
Beefy steam pot.



My Cheese Rice Gelatin.
Taste like the less cheesier version of baked rice.
Not bad not too bad.
Slurppps.



Lunch set comes with salad to go with.
The sauce very unique, I don't know how to describe the taste.
But very green and healthier choice.



Ah, the Crispy Chicken Wings that I love.
Got cravings for this now yo.
You all should try this, very sweet tasting.
 


Our drinks, Serena's Yuzu Soda.
Mine is the Carrot & Fruit Juice.
Didn't know what to drink,
so settled for it.









Wanted to have desserts too,
but in the end after the meal was too full already.
So, gave ice cream a miss in the end.
Never mind, shall go back for desserts next time.
Till then, WATAMI.
(:

So, after that what else did we do? 
We headed down to Orchard, Shaw House for our movie.
I have been saying I want to catch FAME for a long time,
days before it was out, finally caught that dance flick.





Shan't be a spoiler, if you people haven't watched it.
But no point saying anything too,
because you need to see it yourself for their awesome dance.
All the talented dancers, musicians, vocalists.
Superb awesome kind of movie.
In additions, there are a few eye candies to look out to.
Girls & guys.
(: 










Went to ION Orchard yet again,
but was passing by, didn't really walked inside.
Visited that place too many times before,
things are more or less about the same anyway.





Pretty pretty sculptures outside ION.
The colors are so bright & adorable.
Me like.
(:













At night time, legs starts to get sore & tired.
So, we went to Orchard Central.
Then, found Coffee Bean after finding for quite some time.
Settled there for some cakes & coffee,
& also to rest our tired bodies and sore legs.
Chat, chilled, talked, as usual photos time too.
(:

My Chicago Cheesecake.
Haven't had cheesecake in a while.
Yay to my cravings for cakes.
:D



Serena's Buster's Blueberry Cheesecake.







My Caramel Coffee Ice Blended.
Love it yo, I love the caramel & the whipped cream.
I'm a sucker for whipped cream even though I know they're fattening.
Hehehe, once in a while,
settle for some comfort food is always fine right? 
(:





Don't know why my face cannot smile properly.
Just didn't know how to pose or smile for photos.
So it turned out like this,
but memories so whatever.
:D

(Serena got me to side sweep my hair fringe.)









Happy Diona can't wait to dig in into the cheesecake.
Photos with the cake first okay,
before I dig in yooo.





Serena's attempt on artistic shots on my camera.
Using the Macro function.
(:



















& then, time was 10 plus already.
Being tired & bored, we headed back home.
Walked to MRT, then got to City Hall.
Then, separated ways back home.
(: 

Yeah man.
Last 4 more days to end of holidays.
Then school is fucking back.
God damn it.
I don't want.
I don't want school.
Its gonna suck.
:(

One last semester to go.
Waiting for new class rosters & FCM to be out.
Will be known on Friday, I hope it gonna be fun & okay.
Please make my last semester in RP a nice & enjoyable one.
Praying hard to get nice people, & people I know in my classes.
(: 

Watching Baby Bonus now.
The beebee Olympics is so cute.
Good bye.

*ah-chew.*
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The 50th: Dreams are always colorful. <3 [Sep. 28th, 2009|03:34 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | blah]

DIONASAUR: "Lets wake up to those simple days."



I'd the dreams of furthering my studies overseas after my tertiary education, I had a friend that I wanna fulfill this dream together with, because we both talked about it, we both shared the same dream, we both have thoughts of doing our degree overseas after we graduate from Republic Polytechnic.

From few months ago, I held the dreams, I held it in my stride. I told myself I'd to go overseas, I'd to take it as an experience, because I want to. And whatever it may takes to be without my family over there, I'll have to take it. I know its gonna be tough, because you all know I haven't been away from my family alone for long, and it would most probably kills me to be away from my home. But I told myself, that this was my dream, my dream to go overseas, stay and study for a few years. Take it as a life experience, a chance to be independent, a time to take a change. But who knows what might come with it.

And right now, after rethinking about it a lot of times. I figure I'm kinda lost. I don't know if I'm still going ahead with this dream of mine. I feel like I've given up hopes in this dream. But I know, I know that about 60% of me still wants to go ahead with it. But I'm not sure if my results will allow me to. UT3 was not very good, either was it very bad, to you all it might be bad, but I was contented enough, really. I put in that amount of effort, what I get back is what my efforts brings me, I'm happy enough for the tests results. But in overall, I'm not happy at all. When I checked my overall GPA so far, I was so disappointed. And I know its kinda late already, cause one last semester won't pull up my grades too much too. So, its kinda over for me.

But all the 2 years plus in RP, I've been slacking. I haven't been able to control my time management. My grades has been affected because of my poor time management, arriving late in class. My laziness has killed me. I always try my best to, but I cannot. My first FYP project for the previous semester, I put in my hard work, maybe not my very best, but all the stress and everything I got, in the end I got a C+. Well, normal grade I would say, but definitely not something I wanted. Before the project starts, I've been ranting to Sok that a A/B is what we're gonna aim for. We must achieve it, not a A but at least a B. But, actual results were disappointing.

I asked myself these nights, or when I was alone. I thought about it. Have I not been trying hard enough for my studies? Why is it that however much efforts I put into my studies, the results are always disappointing and not what I wanted? Or is my expectations too high to start with? But I doubt so. I want to excel, I put in efforts, but results will still be that. It disappointing to see that. In fact, its not doing good to my morale the very least. I don't say it out, I don't grumble it out, because there's no point, there must be something wrong with me. All I can do, and all I'm fit to do, is to just accept that and take it as I haven't been doing my best, and that was the grades that I deserved.

Since when have I done my parents and myself proud all my life? My results were never those of flying colors, it was always average, or maybe not as average as I think it is. When I told my Mum my UT results last night. All I got was her mocking at me, comparing me with my brother's results when he was in Poly. Yes, he was from a better polytechnic than me. He scored better, his tests were always A or B, never Cs. And yes, I got C for my tests. My daily grades were mostly B or C, not including the penalty for lateness for every lesson I come late. As usual, she teased me, saying my brother never got Cs for his tests, and say I got the cheek to let her know when my grades were a C for a module. Okay, I admit at that point, I totally crashed. I was thinking maybe I should have just kept it a secret, not tell her about it at all, maybe that might have been better. Oh well, maybe it was meant to be like that. I'd nothing to be proud of to say. :(

My dreams. What happened to me. From primary school, to secondary school I was doing well. Until then, during my secondary 3 days, I turned superb bad. It changed everything. It made a lot of people cry. I was disappointed in myself for whatever happened. Don't ask me if you didn't know, let it be over. I regretted everything then, why did I turn that bad those days? If I hadn't, maybe I wouldn't be like this now. What now, God sent me this challenge right. Live with it, that turning point, turned everything bad. You know jolly well its over, and time won't turn back for you to change things now.

Can I still go ahead with my plans? I don't think it allows now. I don't think I'm doing fine enough to go ahead with it now. It's disappointing, how much I wanna go ahead with it, but only looking at it, thinking about it, I think I no longer can go with it anymore. I hope to think otherwise, I hope things change for a better. No point to regret, what more can I do to make it all better? I just don't feel good right now. Why, oh why. Why do we live for competition, for comparison, for qualifications, for dreams. Why can't life be simpler, why can't people be more encouraging. Why oh why. Why must reality exists? Can life be simple and still beautiful, without all the hurting truth?

I want to relive those childhood days, those were much simpler, much easier to get with. Everyday is just laughter, playing, wake up to a fresh new day with people to dote on you, play with you, everyday is just a beautiful simple day to get by. No stress, no nothing, nothing to worry about, nothing to worry about growing up in life. I know the road up ahead is much steeper, its much tougher to get by to drive on, can I do it? Can I make it in the big city with people who bites, people who fights. I fear.

Do I carry on walking into that misty forest at the back of my head? 
So, its one snap back, and back to reality.

:( 


"放轻松,考到就考,考不到就算了。"
"是的,我知道,我知道。"

Prison Break. Shut your ears. Listen to your heart.
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The 49th: Misses. [Sep. 28th, 2009|12:48 am]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | nostalgic]



Hey girls, I miss you people.
I hope when school reopens,
we'll still remain the same like when school wasn't over.
Breaks together, if possible outings after school together.

But I know time & FYP might not allow.
But still, friends forever okay.
Never forget one another please.
I miss each one of you, really.
(: 

.

Remember this was, Am's birthday.
We dined at Waraku @ HEEREN together.
 


Then, it was Cheryl's 19th birthday.
We had KBox, Swensens dinner together.
& it was a late night together, if I don't remember wrongly.
 






Next came Felicia's 20th birthday this year February.
We had Fish & Co and their special birthday celebration for her,
then we went for drinks together @ HEEREN's balcony.
Got kinda drunk, but it ended with lotsa laughter right.
 
























Genevieve's 20th birthday was celebrated with us too.
Manhatten Fish Market, Clarke Quay's indochine.







My 19th birthday last year August.
Thanks for the surprise you all tricked me into.
Love that rainbow card you all made for me.
& that pooh is still in my room with me every night.



Tinghui's 19th birthday.
Was spent in school,
with awesome hottie Jason Mraz's photo for her.









Yeah man, looking back at all the photos.
Brings back so much memories.
We haven't met up for the entire holidays.
So, its been about a month since I last saw you guys.
Could only check out your blogs to stay updated,
we seldom talk as much on MSN any longer too.
We're each busy with our own lives too.
Since I got back from China trip too ...

I hope we haven't changed.

Take care, loves.
Enjoy the last bit of holidays,
before school's back to bite.
Love you all deep, my friends.
(: 

"& yes, I'm learned to forgive & forget about that matter.
& I'm so much happier." 

 
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The 48th: Of Pizza Hut, Friends and Starbucks. <3 [Sep. 26th, 2009|05:23 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | cranky]

24 September 2009, 
Attendance: Serena, Diona, Hanis.

Venue: Central @ job, Orchard, Starbucks (D's personal favorite hangout.) 



"Starbucks @ my favorite hang out is great."
says Dionasaur Nicole.

 




So, noon was working as flyers distributor for a few hours.
People were nice, as in those office people,
some will take, some will not, got freebies then some will ask.
Hmm, as usual Singaporean's, aren't that always the case? 

Now I know how it feels like giving out flyers,
next time I'll try my best to take from them.
HAHA, some people commented on my height again.
there's this handsome guy telling his friends "哇,她比我还要高。"
Going out with me is like bringing an animal out for parades.
LOLOL.

 













Results of not enough time for a bit of breakfast before work,
is effing hungry after work, since we were considered quite early.
We decided to settle down @ 满家乐 for some food.
Had my favorite 功夫奶茶.
:DDD





3 plus headed to Orchard to meet Hanis up.
Then, straightaway went for Pizza Hut @ Lucky Plaza.
Since that's the only Pizza Hut @ town I know of.
Lunched, was so full, cravings satisfied again.
Talked for quite some time, all sorts of topics came up.
Only I know, she know, we know!
Walked around town area.
I hate to go shopping without money.
It sucks when I see something I'm interested in,
but thinking that I got not much money on hand to get it.
So, I rather not go shopping or window shopping,
cause I cannot resist temptations.
:(

Then, night time was to my favorite hangout.
The one that I brought quite a lot of my close friends to so far.
The Starbucks I always chill out at when I'm in town.
Looked at China trips photos, helped Hanis out a little.
Talked, surfed, gossiped, looked @ cute guy across the Starbucks.
HAHAHAHA.
(:


 






















Oh God, damn the heavy eye bags.
So FUGLY.
I need to get more beauty sleeeep.
:( 








 


Time was still early, malls was still open.
So, headed to ION again @ 9 plus.
Then, headed our separate ways back home.
Trained back to Bedok with Hanis,
Serena took different side from us.
Was kinda tired in the MRT.
:( 


 
  
 


Yeah, end of post.
I got a effing backache, straining neck.
Sucks, sucks, sucks totally.
I need to get Salonpas.
 
You know what, people?! 
School's gonna reopen very soon.
Part of me wants holidays to be over,
so I won't be bored fucked at home.
But I know when school reopens,
I can already imagine all the stress I'm gonna face.
final FYP is gonna start, & I don't even have any clue what to do yet.

I hope the final semester of my 3 years in RP will be fine.
Be nice to me please.
School & FYP is such a turn off, totally.
Last semester to go, endure Diona.
Pull up your grades, focus on your project.
You need the grades, badly.
Where's your dream gone to, Dionasaur? 
Are you still with me? 
:(

Note to self: Be constantly reminded.
Don't give up, never give up.

& grow your damn fingernails, Dionasaur.
Biting nails is effing unsightly.
Imagine all the pretty colors you can paint your nails after that.
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The 47th: Dionasaur's random facts. [Sep. 24th, 2009|01:39 am]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | chipper]

1) I have poor money & time management.

2) I eat for the sake of eating, not always because I'm hungry, more usually the holidays.

3) I switch from products to products easily, spent a lot trying out different hair products.

4) I can spend up to 30 dollar or more just at Bedok Interchange.

5) I wish I had a boyfriend sometimes, but come to think of it, sometimes not.

6) I hate seeing different people's reaction when they see me, because of my height.

7) On the other hand, its interesting seeing how different people reacts to my height.

8) I don't really fancy Sushi, the rice chokes on me, but I do eat them.

9) I prefer Starbucks Coffee to Coffee Bean, Gloria Jean's and any others.

10) I love pure cheesecake, but they stink to me sometimes.

*

11) I enjoy eating chocolates, and can go on munching on Snickers bars.

12) I used to hate eating pineapples & papayas, but now, I'm fine with them from time to time.

13) I love to eat fruits, love green apples more than red apples though.

14) I love my family more than I love myself, I can't do without them.

15) I'm superb sticky to my Mom, I cannot go overseas without my Mom.
(BUT, I did for the 7 days China trip.) 

16) I've this secret wish to tour the world with a few good friends, not having to worry about money, someday.

17) I'm very afraid of being left alone at unfamiliar places.

18) I find that my friendships tend to be periodical. When I'm close to someone, I hang out a lot of them.

19) I open up to people quite fast, but I choose who to show my crazy side to.

20) I'm shy when I'm new to someone, starts acting weird if I'm around people I'm not used to.

*

21) I'm pretty much tied down by money, no money no go out kind of person.

22) I love Starbucks for their cheesecake, Green Tea Blended Cream, Vanilla Frap.

23) I'm someone who loves to drink tea, chinese tea more of.

24) I only take carbonated drinks when I dine at fast foods, no carbonated drinks at home.

25) I've this love for mango desserts, sago, red ruby, strawberry milkshake, milk tea.

26) When I start to like one food, I can go on eating that same food item for a while before getting sick of it.

27) Out of all the fast foods, Macdonalds is ranked first.

28) I always orders nuggets meal or fillet o fish meal, sometimes McSpicy meal.

29) I always orders Chicken Teriyaki Burger meal when I dine at MOS Burger.

30) I must finish my homework before I sleep, I must plan my attire for the next day the previous night before I sleep too.

Okay, one of my random moments.
30 random facts about me. LOL.
When I'm bored again, then I come update more.
Don't grow bored of Dionasaur k.

Good night.
(: 


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The 46th: of friends, misses and random outings. [Sep. 23rd, 2009|03:25 am]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | pessimistic]

22 September 2009, Tuesday.
Finally stepped out of my house, got my butt out.
To meet up with this girl of mine,
after not having seen her throughout the whole holidays.
Accompanied her to Marina Square to get her hair done.
Results was awesome, meet up was great.
Photos below, lesser of words.
(:





Waited 3 hours with vanessa while she dye & trim her hair.
see, bitch I so nice to accompany you leh.
you better love me more, & you better start missing me.
LOLOL.
 


While she do her hair,
I find things to do,
I cam whore to pass time.
HEHE.







Check out the bitch's new hairdo.
stylo milo yo, nice nice.
& I know that she loves it a lot.
worth the money huh, bitch.
:D
 
HAHAHA.
MY TWO FAVORITE BOYS.
AWESOME MUCH!
ME LOVE THEM.
HAWT HAWT BABY, HAWT HAWT.
(: 

 

Dionasaur starts to miss a lot of people.
My dear friends seems to have disappeared kinda.
& it feels weird without them in my life, drifted much?
My dramas don't load for me, my eyes are hurting me.
Ah crap, time for bed.
Good night.
:( 
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The 45th: Girls night out, sleeepover. (: [Sep. 20th, 2009|12:56 am]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | chipper]

So, yesterday was Friday.
& I met up with Serena darling @ Tampines.
As usual was late in meeting her.
LOL.

But she's ever so patient, never scold me.
Thanks ah, babe.
HEHE.



So, we went Tampines Mall for dinner first,
since the time we met up was about 6 plus 7 at night.
Dinner, had my Red Ruby that I craved for too.
YAY! 













After dinner, went walk around Tampines One.
But nothing much to see, or do too.
So decided to get to IKEA.
Took damn long while waiting for the shuttle service.
 




Reached IKEA, went to the showrooms.
Superb pretty everywhere, crowded too.
Took damn lots of photos over there.
How I wish I could do up my own home decorations.
 



































































 














 








































 
Spend quite some time over time,
walk until got tired, & stoned.
LOL.































Walked over to Giant hypermart.









Just for these 3 items.
Look how long we took to queue up to pay.



Time we started queuing up.



Wait until getting grumpy.



Finally done with the purchases.



Took shuttle bus service back to Bedok @ about 11pm.























Went back to my place.
Put down all our things,
then we caught the last bus at 1252am,
cool shit, the bus was so empty.
to get to Fengshan 85 for our supper.
That girl has been craving for the Bak Chor Mee.
So we went there.
(: 











YAY FINALLY REACHED.
Ordered food, ate, talked.











Then finished everything at about 1.45am.
We were so filled to our brims.
Superb full, & superb uncomfortable.

So, to aid digestion too,
we walked back to my place.
Along the way took photos,
& we took 1 full hour to get home!

Funny shits happened along the way too,
remember the construction worker that scared her.
& her watching policemen catching people until her eyes won't leave the place.
GOODNESS! 
:DDD







1 hour later,
superb tired & sweating already.





At home, MSNed, video called with Monkey.
Watched TV, ate somemore, snacked, talked, laughed.
A whole load of fun in the middle of the night.
So, we only slept at about 7 in the morning.
Totally stoning, so decided to crawl into bed already.
HAHAHA.

Woke up @ 3 plus in the afternoon,
just nice Mommy got home,
so ate our Nasi Lemak for lunch.
Yum, now she misses the Nasi Lemak!
(: 

Good morning, Pooh! :DDD
that bitch keep disturbing me.
Don't know why she wake up then so high & hyper already.
Sleepover is so funnn.





Dumb dumb, after lunch.
Watched TV, used computer, chit chatted.
She nothing to do, wanted to tie my hair in plaits.
So, let her be, & this is the outcome.
Evil lah she, somemore want me to go into the kitchen let my Mom see.
Dragged me into the kitchen lah! 
-.-



Only photo in that damn plaits I let her upload.
Cause is I took myself one.
Using her phone's front camera.
Man, I want her phone lah.
HAHAHA.



Dinner was at my place too.
Tom Yum, yummmm.
Then Mummy steamed the shells for us to eat too.
Don't know what's it called, but it was yummms.
Bet she misses my Mum's cooking now! 
HEHE.



Okay, I didn't let her take this lo.
Luckily I was fast enough to avoid the shot.
My face superb cannot make it,
the kind of stay home face how to face.



She left my place at about 10 plus at night.
Sit until her butt pain to get home.
HAHAHA, who ask her stay so far away.
Tsk.

Yay, sleepover part 2 Successful!
Finally uploaded all the photos & updated already.
Awesome, spent such a long time trying to get it done.
Now wait for her to update already!
Serena, your turn to type one long post! 
HAHAHA.

.

Watched final episode of 败犬女王 just now.
Teared while watching it man.
Superb touching, then got eyecandies.
Ethan Ruan is so fucking hawt I swear.
I missed many other episodes.
 I think I'm gonna watch them on the web tomorrow or something.
:DDD

Its 4.18am now,
I'm going to hit the sacks soon.
Sleeepy.
Damn, my hair color is dropping. :(

"I want more money, I want retail therapy." 
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The 44th: Of dreams & goals. <3 [Sep. 17th, 2009|05:58 pm]
[Tags|, , , , , , , , , ]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | bouncy]



Diona Nicole says: I'm back to blog. (:

.
(as extracted from: http://the-leggy-queen.blogspot.com)

Man, I totally agree with this post.
But I won't make any comments about this too,
but yeah. like what my babe is doing,
I'm keeping faith that there will be one that will prove me wrong.
one that is not like any of the rest at all.
(: 

.

So yeah, whats up with my life? 
My life has been rather mundane.
Nothing interesting been going on.
Its either I'm out hanging with my friend/friends,
or I'm home rotting with my laptop/TV/Mommy.
I'm trying to behave more like a normal human being,
wake up early, sleep early, but apparently not.
Used to my zombie lifestyle I guess.
Its only once in a blue moon where I'm up early.
To me, early is 10 plus or 11am.
LOL.

So, today is one of the once-in-a-blue-moon days.
I woke up at 10 plus by my handphone alarms.
& head out to the market with my Mommy.
Ate brunch, then stayed around with Mommy & her friends.
Then, headed to the usual saloon to do my hairdo.
Gave my hair a dye, from black with yellowish ends,
to brownish red, more to dark brown.
Its only very visibly red under the sunlight.
cause I don't want my hair to look dull & unhealthy.
& I trimmed my hair too, my fringe more of.
to ... something called helmet head! 
HAHAHAHA.

IN OVERALL,
I PRETTY MUCH LOVE IT.
YUMYUMMM.
SEXY RED.
now have to work hard to keep it healthy.
& grow hair, grow!
:DDD

& mummy satisfied my mac fries cravings,
while I was sitting there waiting for my hair to be done.
Mummy went to buy mac fries+bbt for me.
yummmy, loveeeee.
(: 

14 September 2009.


16 September 2009.



17 September 2009.





Okay, I smell yummylicious dinner coming up! 
Brother's gf's joining us tonight,
& Mummy's whipping up quite a spread.
(((: 

Back to blog shopping.
GOODBYE BABIES.
:D
 
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The 43th: Happy Birthday, Mummy loveee. <3 [Sep. 9th, 2009|09:09 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | happy]

Yes ah! Exactly 090909; 0909pm.
What a unique & special date,
but I got no one special to spend it with.
But I'm contented with my life still.
(:

& since its 0909 today!
Its my dearest Mummy's 53rd birthday today! 
my family's superwoman's special day.

Happy 53rd birthday, Mummy.

I love you many many much.
Cause without you, there won't be me & Brother.


Happy birthday, be healthy forever please.
Happy always, no troubles, smile all the time like when you're watching your favorite TV show.
& don't think about those family matters already, Mummy love.
They misunderstood your intentions, but we know your intentions are good.
It takes some time for them to digest your good intentions, or they might never will.
but so long as you meant good, nothing else matters, Mummy.
They need to understand. & its in a fit of anger that she reacted that way.
Childish much? But I'm a younger generation, I can't interfere much.

Just be happy, Mummy.
(:


(man, looking at this photo makes me miss my long extended hair.) 

Hope you like our little gift from us.
Read your birthday card from us later.
Brother brought along with him to his company for Cindy to write,
& he's got night lessons, so he's not back yet.
We're celebrating it on Sat along with Mom & Dad's 28th wedding anniversary.
(: 

Happy 090909, my loves.

Spend it with whoever is your special one,
since its a date hard to come by.
:D

Task done,
blog updated.
Ciao ciao.
(:
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The 42nd: 080909's day out. [Sep. 9th, 2009|05:08 pm]
[蒂:现在的心情。 | cheerful]


8 August 2009,

the first day I stepped out after I returned back from China.
Have been in the post trip kind of mood,
just don't feel like doing anything,
just wanna hide at home & slack.
D: 

So anyway, yesterday met up with S first.
I got cravings for Pizza Hut the night before,
so we went to Lucky Plaza's Pizza Hut for lunch.
I don't usually like to eat Pizza,
but just suddenly craved for it.
Finally got my cravings cleared. YAY.





S's sesame Pizza.
 


My Chicken Ham Pizza.
 


S taking photos of food, for blogging .
 


Girl's routine of taking pictures of food before eating.



 
Then, cam whore a bit while waiting for food to be served.



Snap shot me doing stupid acts.



"Photos are a must for every outing."
I live by this statement.
like I say picture speaks a thousand words.
One photo is enough to be reminded of the day's events.
:D










Headed Fareast first,
but I'd my mind at ION Orchard.
So yay, we headed over to ION Orchard,
for shopping time.
*GRINS*



I look yucks here, but whatever.
S was in heels for the first time I saw.
But still shorter than me.
HEHE.



ION Orchard is like a princess's toilet.
I was joking with the girls that,
how nice if that was my house's toilet.
Like princess's castle like that.
(o.O) 





Fetched H from the MRT station,
she joined us in the evening time.
(:













Sokky joined us after that at about 6 plus.
She kept saying my voice changed.
Must have been too long never hear my voice already,
that's why forget my voice then say it changed! 
tsk tsk.



Sitting there, waiting for J to join us.
Me & S ran into him earlier on in the afternoon.
Then, asked us to join us later,
after he was done with his friend.

So, around 7 plus, he rang me up! 
& steady pom bi bi, he was joining us.
Waited for him at ION Orchard.
(:






Was deciding what to have for dinner.
Settled at Cineleisure's Pastamania after many choices.
Had enough of Pizza, so settled my dinner for baked rice.
(: 



Happy girls with a happy heart.
Outing after China trip was a success! 
Too bad, J didn't have a photo with us.
If not that would have been more perfect.
:D





After dinner, walked around.
Night was still kind of young,
so we settled at Coffee Bean at Paragon for chilling.
Wanted Starbucks at first, but we thought it  was closed already.
But nevertheless, Coffee Bean was fine too.
Didn't have photos taken then,
we were all tired.

Sat there, chatted over coffee & pastries.
Talked about quite a lot of things,
main topic revolving round China again.
Since that was our common topic.
(: 

Left at 11 plus.
J, H, S left by MRT.
Leaving me & S at town,
wanted to grab a drink before taking bus back to my place.
Sat around for a while, laziness got into us.
S suggested cabbing back to my house.
So, set! Flagged a cab & off we go home.
:D





Outing again please, people! 
It was enjoyable, won't forget.
Plan another outing out soon.
(: 

So yeah, S came over to my place.
Talked, played computer, shared lil secrets.
Slept at about 4am.
Then she left my place at 7 plus.
Got up, opened the door for her,
then went back to sleep again.
LOL.

Task task tasksss.
China Trip RJ -- 60% done (due on Friday.) 
RP reflection article for China Trip -- 20% done (due asap.)


I wanna slim down & have a hot bod,
slim down my ass, my thighs, my calves, my arms, my tummy.
(Man, that's like all my body parts. LOL.)
Be hawt like a Supermodel.
Hoping my hair grows faster too.
HAHAHAHA.

GOODBYE.
Off to sip my Dragon Well Tea,
while watching my TV show.
*GRINSGRINS*
 
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